At least it has in South Carolina. The weather lately hasn't been able to decide whether it's going to be hot or cold. But in the past few days, it's been pretty warm. And the trees have decided that they have had enough of winter. They're beginning to bloom. There's white, purple, and red blooms just about everywhere you look! It really is quite beautiful. And it's also so weird that every winter, I forget what spring and summer look and feel like because of the cold and (sometimes) snow. It's a surprise every March or April when everything comes to life again...
It's also funny watching Scott. The weather is so different from New England. It gets dark much later and get warmer much quicker. He's like a little kid in a candy store.
Other than that, nothing much to report. We had play rehearsal tonight, and I'm pooped. So, I think I'm gonna go. More updates later.
I figured since I had time, I would write a quick update for those of you still reading my journal. I think I'm finally starting to get settled here in SC. It was really tough at first, and I still really miss my mommy, but I think it's going to be okay. I think I really needed a change.
I got a part in a play here in Aiken. The local community theater is getting ready to do Dearly Departed, and I'm going to play Lucille. It's going to be a LOT of fun. And apparently, a lot of them thought I was really good at auditions. FINALLY, somebody thinks I can act well enough to give me a good part! YAY!
Also, I got a job at Blockbuster. It's not the best job ever but it's definitely not the worst. The people are nice even though the two male managers like to give me a hard time. But then again, they give everybody a hard time. I'm getting used to working there, but I'm scheduled to work Friday night....I'm worried. They get so busy on Friday nights! I'm afraid I'm gonna screw something up.
Scott and I are doing fine. It's gonna be rough though because I think I'm gonna have to work every weekend. I was really looking forward to going to Charleston in a few weekends. But now that I have to work, I don't think were gonna get to go for awhile. It's starting to get warm enough here to be outside. Yesterday was wonderful. My skin got feel sunshine for the first time in awhile. It was great. We ate lunch and dinner out on our little deck.
In other news, I've pretty much got the teaching thing under control. I decided that I wanted to teach (even though I'm still terrified of it.) So I've been in the process of getting my TN teaching license switched to a SC teaching license. I think that's pretty much a done deal. I'm also applying for a teaching position in Aiken County. At this point I'm just waiting on the last reference to come in. I also have been looking into getting my add-on certification in theater (though I did find out that you don't have to be certified to teach theater in SC.) Apparently, I only lack 2 classes, and the nice people in the theater department at University of SC at Aiken (USCA) are gonna help me out with that. I'm really excited.
I still feel like I'm in a kind of funk, but I think it's getting better. I miss everyone. It's really hard to make new friends in a strange town, so it does get lonely here. But really, I think things are going good. Anyway, I should run. Maybe more later...
I just finished reading the entire seven books of The Chronicles of Narnia. If anyone hasn't read them, I fully suggest that you do. They are an amazing adventure for one of any age. At the end of the edition that I have (mine has all seven books in one hard bound edition)there is an essay by Lewis written about writing for children. It is an amazing essay with great insight into his thoughts. One quote that I thoroughly enjoyed was, "When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and desire to be very grown up." This speaks to me, and I hope it speaks to others because I know these people. They are the ones who are so worried about appearing to be "adult" that they forget what it is to live and be curious, creative, and imaginative. They are, to put it simply, very boring to be around. I would rather be called childish than adult if adult is thrown at me with such a derogitory meaning. He goes on in his essay to talk about how fairy tales don't frighten children, the real world does, and it is fairy tales that give them something else to think on and ease their fears. He makes the point that in all good fairy tales and fantasy stories that right there with the monsters, giants, and dragons are kings, knights, and other heroes to slay the beasts and win over in the head. Lewis writes, "There is something so ludicrous in the idea of educating a generation which is born to the Ogpu and the atomic bomb. Since it is so likely that they will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage. Otherwise, you are making their destiny not brighter but darker." He also goes on, "It would be nice if no little boy in bed, hearing, or thinking he hears, a sound, were ever at all frightened. But if he is going to be frightened, I think it better that he should think of giants and dragons than merely of burglars. And I think St. George, or any bright champion in armour, is a better comfort than the idea of the police." Our children are going to be faced with horrors. As much as we would like, we can not protect them from the horrors of the world today. They will not face giants or dragons or anything of the sort but instead they face war, poverty, child molestors, serial killer, and the list goes on and on. If for but a while all they fear is a dragon, giant, or other mythical creature, I think I could rest easy. I will leave you with one last quote from Lewis' essay "On Three Ways of Writing for Children", I think it possible by that by confining your child to blameless stories of child life in which nothing at all alarming ever happens, you would fail to banish the terrors, and would succeed in banashing all that can enoble them or make them endurable. For in the fairy tales, side by side with the terrible figures, we find the immemorial comforters and protectors, the radiant ones; and the terrible figures are not merely terrible, but sublime."
Life just kinda sucks right now. I don't want to be where I am, but I have no solution and no way out. I also have no clue what the future holds for me. I just feel trapped and I feel like everything is closing in on me. I have no explanation of this...I just know that that is how I feel. I'm not really happy with the student teaching thing right now, but maybe that will get better in a week or two when I actually start teaching. It sucks because at the first of the week, I was getting so much work done. Then about Wednesday all work came to a screeching halt. I feel like the list of things I have to do is getting longer instead of shorter and I don't know what to do about that. I'm getting discouraged, and that's making it harder to get things done. I spent all day cleaning in my room. I feel a little less claustrophobic, but I am still not happy with it. I just can't seem to part with enough stuff to make my room not feel so crowded. I guess I'll just have to either live with it or move out soon. But ya know, I just don't know what's going to happen...wih anything. I HATE not knowing. It SUCKS.
But I'm going to go now. More stuff I could do, but I'll probably just watch TV. Later.
So I guess it is aloha to 2007. Where the hell did 2006 go? That was just crazy how fast the year went. I am happy to report that I had a great time last night. I wanted to kill someone (still do actually) but life is good. I made it up to see Scott. There were moments when I thought we weren't gonna make it. ( I flew standby with a buddy of Scott's who works at the Knoxville airport). And by the way, flying standby is not all it's cracked up to be. Too much stress for me. But I made it to be with my baby, and that was all that mattered. We chilled with his friends in a bar/club and then went running through the streets of the North End in Boston to try to get to the water front to see the fireworks. It was alot farther than we thought, but it was worth it, and we only missed the first 5 minutes or so. All in all it was a great night. Unfortunately, It didn't end as perfectly as we would hope...Sme friends have a way of ruining things for people, but hey, I'd do it again...
I'm not really sure I'm ready to face all that the new year brings, but I guess I can only take it a day at a time. My goal is to lose a few of the pounds that I have mysteriously gained (just enough so that my clothes fit again), figure out what I'm doing next year, survive student teaching, and ty to figure myself out a little better.
Scott and I seem to be doing well. We want to stay together, and I am glad of that. I know this relationship hasn't always gone as smoothly as we had hoped, but I love that boy so very very much. I can't imagine being without him. It has killed me to be without him during the holidays, but last night I was able to hold him and kiss him again and to fall asleep knowing that he was there with me and would be there when I woke up.
I have been putting off going to bed. I can't seem to sleep. I slept a little earlier after I got back from the airport...until Scott called, and I just haven't been able to go to sleep since. I think I'm just missing having him next to me. It really is funny the things that you get used to...
But I should go...I am starting to get sleepy. Just felt like updating for once...Sorry I don't do it more often.
Sue me. Things have been nuts. They still are a little. But as soon as I can get my take home final and my paper done and turned in, I will be great! I am atempting to do that here in a few minutes. I am just doing my typical procrastinating. Amd I thought I would update a bit.
Scott and I reached our 1 year anniversary on monday! It was geat. He got me this beautiful necklace and we had a nice dinner.
Last weekend was the first weekend of the play. It went well minus me almost falling down opening night. That kinda sucked, but I don't think that anyone knew but me. It was still embarassing.
My birthday was last wednesday, Nov. 1. Thanks to all those who remembered my birthday and sent nice birthday wishes. It was greatly appreciated and definitely kept the day from sucking.
I started my new dance team yesterday. i think it will be okay. It wasn't my idea in the first place, so I'm still not real excited about being forced to do it. There still have been no discussions of more pay. Which is ridiculous. But the girls had a good time yesterday, and it was easy for me to become excited by their enthusiasm. I am however very sore today because my muscles are not used to being stretched out like that.
One more Block before Christmas...Yay and nay. Yay because, well duh! It's christmas and it means no school. Nay because it means Student teaching and I'm just not sure about that anymore...
But anyway, I absolutely must get to this exam and paper. My goal is to get them done tonight.
More later, peeps! Love~
Most days I just feel like I'm drifting to oblivion. I can't really explain it any better than that. I am here and I am living my life, but I'm not fully here all of the time. The past week went okay. I've felt okay, but it's been a little rough I guess. I wonder where everything is going to end up. Where will I end up? I'm not so sure that I want to graduate. Too scary. Too uncertain. I don't like that. I am in a relationship that both of us have worked hard on. We love each other, and we have tried to adjust the things that drive the other one crazy. No one is perfect. Bu I have found someone who tries so hard to please me and to take care of me. This past week was hard...and I didn't exactly make it any btter yesterday and last night. But anyway...I just hope that things will be better this week.
I have a lot of stuff to do with the color guards (both of them) this week. It shall be busy one. I do look forward to next weekend however.
But for now, I shall go. I am tired and still not feeling completely 100%. Night to all.